Getting Restarted – Slowly

I’m beginning to do more as I recover from being ill, but it’s difficult. My energy is low and I’m frustrated that I can’t do more. I wish I could think more clearly, too. I have so much I need – and want – to do, but my body isn’t cooperating.

I know that pushing myself too far will be detrimental to my health, so I’m trying to take it easy as I recuperate, but my to-do list is stressing me out and I’m worried that tasks will continue piling up until there are so many I won’t be able to cope. My strategy is to prioritise the most important things first, then the tasks which won’t take too much energy. The other stuff will have to wait.

The situation is affecting my mental health and it’s a constant battle to keep perspective.

I know that getting stressed and anxious will result in my getting even less done, but logical observations and emotional reactions are different animals… While I know that prioritising my mental and physical health will help me get more done in the long term, I find it hard to justify sitting back and relaxing when I know I will have to do everything sooner or later.

Looking on the bright side, I feel better this week than I did last week – and last week was great, compared to the week before!

Hopefully the cycle of recovering a little and then getting hit by another virus will be over soon. I’m doing more walking this week and hope to return to gym classes next week, depending on how my chest feels, so my fitness is gradually getting back on track. I’m also making an effort to eat healthily, planning meals with lots of vegetables and cutting back on junk food.

Keeping up self-care takes a lot of effort when I’m feeling under the weather.

I know it helps my mental health when I meditate, repeat affirmations and use my SAD lamp – which probably has a positive effect on my physical health – but finding the energy and motivation seems like a gargantuan task. I have been getting better at it over the past few days though, which is a good sign.

Mental health problems make simple, common things more difficult and physical illness is a prime example.

I have to find the energy to look after my mental health as well as my physical health, which probably isn’t a consideration for most people suffering from a winter virus. Plus I have no idea whether my current lack of energy is 100% due to the virus, or if it is being caused by my depression worsening. It’s hard to tell when most people feel tired and demotivated when they are ill; I hope these symptoms will disappear when the virus finally goes, but I’m also afraid that they won’t.